May 15, 2024

Hello, Peripheral Thinkers™!

In the US, Mother’s Day was celebrated on Sunday, May 12th. Whether you are a mother, have a mother, or care for others as a mother does, you have unique perspectives on life. We all benefit from your perspectives.

I dedicate this month’s newsletter to my mom. You will discover what I learned from her and how these lessons interact with specific Peripheral Thinking™ skills.

Having unique perspectives when you set out to achieve something beyond your current skills and understanding is invaluable.

Okay… Are you ready to meet Mom?

Let’s go!

🚲

WHO IS HOLDING YOUR BICYCLE SEAT?

A Peripheral Perspective Of — MY MOM

I believe we can all agree that knowledge and insight come from experiences. You may also agree that having an experienced guide, coach, or teacher improves the learning process, leading to a successful “experience.”

Learning from the right people with the right traits (some good and some bad) is one of the most significant influences on my life. Not all good lessons come from good people or good experiences. You only need to touch a hot pan once. Lesson learned.

And when it comes to my mom, the character traits I learned from her are rich in meaning and application.

Here are a few traits my mom instilled in me.

Tenacity

Quitting was never an option for my mom. Although she may take the occasional step back, she used the step backward to gain a head of steam and attack the obstacle with unstoppable force.

No task was too difficult. No objective is unreachable.

Her tenacity, while not famous, is legendary!

I bet you know someone just like her.

Recent research available through The National Institutes of Health explains, “It is generally known that tenacity has become recognized as important for success … successful leadership … different entrepreneurial situations … new ventures … and start-ups.”

But you already knew that, right?

Supportive

My mom is her kids’ and grandkids’ biggest fan. She unquestioningly supports any endeavor, anytime, anywhere—as long as it’s safe, of course. She is in the stands whether it’s 110° or -30°. Drive or fly across the country to see a performance or competition? Yep. That’s a no-brainer. Work an extra job to pay for lessons, buy an instrument, or contribute to an education? She is in!

You can say the same thing for my mom’s closest friends. Her support is timely, thoughtful, and complete.

An April 2024 article by BetterHelp Business states, “Research has found that social support is strongly connected to improved … outcomes … and reduces the emotional effects of challenges. Supportive relationships can help us solve problems and boost our self-confidence. Often, we feel better able to navigate a stressful situation when we have someone to go through it with.”

Guide

An only child to poor German immigrants, my mom grew up in a farming community in the Midwest. Her hometown population was ~250. As one of the few families that ‘lived in town,’ she took on responsibilities early to help support her family. She is an accomplished pianist and began giving piano lessons at age 14. She didn’t play for enjoyment. It was a job. Lessons, funerals, weddings—anywhere that would pay helped put food on the table.

From answering phones at a local TV station at 19, my mom progressed to working in administrative and executive support positions at law firms, physician practices, international engineering firms, airport authorities, and military transportation and logistics agencies. She worked for several airlines, with her favorite job being one of the people loading and unloading luggage on commercial airplanes well into her 60s. She did not have a supportive teacher, mentor, or coach. You could say she gained her experience the hard way—through trial and error!

During her time in the travel industry, she took full advantage of travel privileges to take our family to places we would otherwise never see. She wanted us to experience different countries and cultures. My mom became our life guide, not just our family’s tour guide.

When asked, my mom would provide thoughtful guidance on topics using all her past and present experiences. While she had very few guides during her life, she became a guide for others and one of my go-to people for guidance.

A report from the Massachusetts Association for Mental Health cites research on the benefits of elevating the voices of people with lived experiences:

Promote empowerment and combat stigma.
Help themselves and assist in community-building.
Relationship-building element of peer-based programs and services.
Improve people’s well-being and foster diversity and inclusion.
Less likely to have negative attitudes toward people from diverse backgrounds.

One Story. Three Traits. A lifetime of insights.

The Summer of 1967

While race riots broke out across the US, an internal battle was raging inside me. I was 4, going on 18, and wanted my freedom! Riding a bicycle without training wheels was the closest thing I had to jumping in a VW bus with friends, surfboards, and heading up the coast.

At 4, I had already adopted my mom’s philosophy of tenacity. One summer day, I was determined to remove the training wheels and ride the two-wheeler on my own. Freedom was waiting, so there was no accepting the kind encouragement, “You’ll get there someday,” or “Just keep practicing.” I was all in, and that was going to be the day.

I attack the training wheels myself. (I know how to use wrenches and a hammer… sort of.) They are off, and the rear wheel is secure. I start the learning process. I fall a lot. A morning of failed attempts leaves me with cuts, bruises, and a knot on one shin.

I hear the call for lunch and choose to take “a step back.” I wipe the tears from my face, enter the kitchen, step on the stool, and wash my hands in the sink. It stings a little because of the scrapes on my palms. I eat quickly without talking, rinse my plate and cup, and put them in the sink. I move toward the door when my mom says, “Let’s get you riding that bike.” The words and tone tell me she is adding her Tenacity to my epic quest—Solo Bike Rider… TODAY!

With renewed energy, we attack the forces of gravity and balance with a head of steam. The brief respite allows the morning’s lessons to sink in. That afternoon, with my mom’s steadying, Supportive hand on my bicycle seat and her words of confidence, she runs beside me, Guiding me until I gain my balance, and she can let go, and I can ride.

They say that success breeds success. You build upon one lesson, insight, or accomplishment to prepare for the next. Tenacity results from failing until you achieve what you set out to achieve. Giving and receiving support fuels growth. Having and being a Guide brings insightful perspectives to perpetuate the results.

Amplifying Traits with Peripheral Thinking™ Skills

Here’s how one or more Peripheral Thinking™ skills enhance each trait.

TENACITY AND ‘APPLYING’

Peripheral Thinking™ skills like ‘Deciphering’ and ‘Drilling’ amplify with tenacity. (See the January 2024 and August 2023 newsletters for more details about these skills.) Each of these skills adds different kinds of insights to your knowledge base.

Multiply the effects of these skills with the ‘Applying’ Peripheral Thinking™ skill.

You may think, “I know you must apply what you learn. An idea without action is only a dream.”

You are right.

Charles Spurgeon wrote: “Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal and are all the greater fools for it.”

The ‘Applying’ Peripheral Thinking™ skill uses new experiential knowledge to achieve a result that surprises and pleases you or others. In other words, doing what you are told does not have the same results as using what you have learned and doing it differently.

That summer morning, I was tenacious. I did what I told myself was the right way to learn to ride. Using that experience, quickly coupled with the new experience of a steadying hand, I experienced a surprising and pleasing result. That’s how Peripheral Thinkers™ ‘Apply.’ Don’t just do what you are told. Apply all the insights from every experience to achieve your goals.

SUPPORTIVE AND ‘EMPATHIZING’

When you think of the supportive people in your life, they likely have some or all of the following characteristics:

Even-tempered
Good listener
Trust-worthy
Stable
Warm
Calm
Loyal

They are the steadying hand that helps you regain your balance. Empathy is at the core of the supportive trait. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Peripheral Thinking’s™ “Empathizing” skill is one of the most difficult to learn and one of the most rewarding to use.

As you may know, the Peripheral Thinking™ skills model translates the innate super-skills found in Dyslexic innovators for neurotypical leaders. Just because this skill is found innately within many Dyslexics does not mean many neurotypical people don’t have the skill. I believe the depth of a Dyslexic’s empathizing skill comes from dealing with the challenges and misconceptions of our neurodiversity. Because we are often misunderstood, especially those diagnosed later in life, we are forced to understand others while performing daily introspection. “Why did they say that?” “What do they mean?” “What am I not seeing or understanding?” This external and internal focus removes the absolutes. The blacks and whites. The us and them… To create a kaleidoscope of perspectives, personalities, and feelings.

‘Empathizing’ is sensing, understanding, and responding to how people feel emotionally and practically. It seeks first to understand and then to relate. Do you see how ‘Empathizing’ amplifies the supportive trait? I can support a cause from afar or on the front lines. I can send flowers to a client who has lost a loved one, and I can go to the funeral and visit monthly for the next two years.

Empathy is a hot topic for leaders who want to increase their emotional quotient (EQ). But the ‘Empathizing’ skill is not one you can “fake it until you make it.”

GUIDE AND ‘SURVEYING’

When you think of an expert guide, perhaps you think of a tour guide in a foreign country, an adventure guide navigating the jungle, or a sherpa climbing Mount Everest. In each case, what makes them excellent is their:

Willingness to share inside knowledge.
Calm response to the unexpected.
Readiness with plans B, C, … Z.
Ability to anticipate needs.
Experience with the trail

The Peripheral Thinking™ ‘Surveying’ skill amplifies the Guide trait. ‘Surveying’ is seeing past the immediate to gain a strategic, big-picture view of a subject or situation. Peripheral Thinkers™ frequently toggle between the present and the big-picture view of the objective and multiple options to reaching the objective.

Surveying isn’t just looking up once in a while to be sure you’re on course. The ‘Surveying’ skill makes you aware of changing conditions, optional routes, and additional resources. Peripheral Thinkers™ continually survey and periodically adjust to ensure they reach the objective.

Picture my mom holding my bicycle seat, running beside me, and looking ahead. Now imagine me taking input from my feet, seat, hands, eyes, and ears and looking far enough to ensure a clear path.

No What?

I hope you gleaned at least one new insight from this month’s newsletter. So, take a moment and write down one way you will apply, empathize, and survey in the next 30 days to move your business forward with tenacity, support, and guidance.

Take The Next Step

Learn new skills!

Whatever your age, I encourage you to continually add new, even difficult, skills to your repertoire. Each added skill grows your multi-dimensional thinking and gives you many new insights to draw upon.

Let me know if you don’t know what skill(s) to start with. We’ll discuss where you are, where you want to go, and devise a plan. Of course, I’m partial to the Peripheral Thinking™ skills, in case you wondered…

Ways You Can Help:

Share this newsletter with others.
Book me to speak at your next event.
Recommend a friend to follow or connect with me.

Until Next Time, I’ll See You In The Periphery!

Additional News

To my friends at Venice Family Clinic: I’m excited about your growing impact and look forward to speaking with all of you on May 21st. Our time together will be energizing!

To my friends at the Florida Pest Management Association: I look forward to meeting you at your summer conference in June. Leadership, Partnership, and Relationship! This will be a cruise to remember!

Archives of all “Break All The Rules” (fka Peripheral Thinkers™ Newsletter) are available at: https://www.pauldanielsjr.com/newsletter.

Here’s how I can help you.

I help audiences and business leaders find and apply new perspectives to build innovative lives and companies that thrive in any environment.

1. Keynotes & Workshops

At a time when speeches and workshops look and sound the same, audiences say that the Peripheral Thinking™ message stands out. “New. Insightful. Inspiring. Immediately applicable.” “With Paul on stage, event planners relax confidently. Sponsors stand proudly. Audiences engage enthusiastically.”

Find samples here: https://www.pauldanielsjr.com/speaker. Let me help you make your event the best ever.

2. Executive & Board Advisory

Take your observations from the newsletter and start applying them to your business. The Peripheral Thinkers™ advisory programs help CEOs, Founders, Business Leaders, and Corporate Executives apply new perspectives to build innovative, disruption-proof businesses.

Programs are designed for your needs and delivered in 1:1, group, and ongoing advisory sessions. 👉🏽 https://www.pauldanielsjr.com/contact, select ADVISORY, and I’ll reach out to discuss your objectives.

May 2024 Peripheral Thinkers™ Newsletter